Three's a Charm
By accident or by favour, I was too exhausted to figure out which one, I became pregnant with the third baby in three years. My husband is one of two children, as am I, so we entered unknown parenting territory. Our strategy needed to change: we would go from man-on-man, to zone defense.
The third baby was the most successful when negotiating his passage to the outside world. I arrived at the hospital, gave a little cough, and out plopped a heifer. He was fully cooked at 4.45 kilos, exhibited the same set of lungs as his older brother and sister, and was born ready to be the diplomatic third to settle his siblings’ squabbles.
But we were optimistic as we heard rumours that three’s a charm. In many ways, the number three represents beauty and, in an odd way, symmetry. Three is touted as the magic number across disciplines. Flower arrangers recommend a three stemmed bunch for an eye-pleasing configuration. In geometry, triangles with three vertices are the most stable. Even in religion the trinity is three. In literature, examples are routinely cited in threes: beginning, middle and end. Snap, crackle and pop. Shadrach, Meshach, and Abednego. Gold, frankincense, and myrrh. Famous trios consist of piggies, stooges, and musketeers. The Olympic slogan is Citius, Altius, Fortius.
The most significant change that happened because of Baby Three was an upgraded car. We had a VW Golf prior to his arrival which comfortably seated five - two in the front, three in the back. But each kid came with his or her requisite equipment which meant we needed a capacious boot. In fact, I noticed the younger the child, the more the gear. The inverse proportion was uncanny. Baby Three required the following items for an afternoon at the park: nappy bag, several bags of spare clothing, three bottles, a milk powder canister, a hot water bottle, a car seat, which was convertible to a stroller, along with his picnic mat. And this was not an exhaustive list. We said goodbye to the Golf and welcomed home the Audi Q7.
By this time we had so much baby equipment and essentials that it was difficult to think of something new to purchase for Baby Three. “But,” I implored my husband, “we need to buy something new for the Baby. He can’t start his life with a complete set of hand-me-downs.”
My husband agreed, but we had everything a baby could possibly want and don’t want. We retrieved the gender neutral coloured baby clothes from the recesses of the storage. I even washed the entire inventory of yellow, white and grey outfits; the clothes may be pre-loved, but they could at least not reek of mothballs. Friends in our baby group implored us to take their outgrown baby gear in order to clear out their living space. Finally we settled on purchasing a new mattress, which was placed into the (second-hand) crib. There. Preparation done.
Baby Three completed our family of five. There is a Chinese saying which suggests the five flavours of life is「甜酸苦辣咸」 sweet, sour, bitter, spicy, salty. This is what my completed family feels like to me: a chaotic festive feast embracing all the five senses. Five is the number of humanity. Five is the number of fingers on my hand and toes on my feet. Five gives me literal and figurative balance.
When we became five it felt as if the cover picture on the puzzle box became clear. We were always meant to be five pieces, and Baby Three was the jigsaw piece with protruding knobs on each of his four sides. We gently placed him in the middle of the puzzle, firmly pushing each of his knobs into our four sockets, and there he was nestled, connected with our hearts. And connecting all of us with each other.
